The Chip off the Old(ish) Block

1 August 2007, 08:32

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"Temptation's" Turbo Bunny

27 July 2007, 18:14

If there’s one thing you really should do before you die, it’s have a Busty Betty moment on National TV.

It happened on the third night of my Temptation reign (for those of you who missed it… ooops!), I got a question wrong and brought my hands to my face, my elbows scooping up my boobs and delivering them perilously close to my chin. Oh. My. God. groans I, as a nation doesn’t even notice. Then I thinks, Hey, that’s pretty cool, not everyone gets to have one of those. Moments, that is.

So during my 3 episodes, I was called the following by either Ed or Livinia, our gorgeous hosts (Livinia and Chelsea were so adorable, I wanted to wrap them up and pop them on my mantelpiece):

• Turbo Bunny
• Nerves of Steel
• Killer
• Calculating
• Energiser Bunny

I also created two signatures haplessly emulated the night after I left - “Sayonara, Baby” (who did I think I was - the Japanese Terminator?) and the Karate Chop of ye ol’ red buzzer when I went for the Vault cash (a healthy sum I’m pleased to report).

‘Twas weird arse seeing myself on TV. A curlier and more orange me, that is. I looked like I’d been toasting myself for a week under a solarium then painted a healthy jaundice going in.

And soooooo serious, oh my god. The 4-night champ I knocked off on my first night, Cam, was this wacky, happy-go-lucky guy with an awesome sense of humour and brains to match, and here I was, casting my shadow over the other contestants with shades of “I’m. Going. To. Kill. You. All”. One scary mutha. Poor ol’ Grundys would have been sitting back, head in hands wondering “What the hell have we done to let loose this murderous assasin onto primetime TV?”.

The first two nights I was very lucky to win. First, Cam tripped up on the last question of the night, seeing him lose by a measly $4 and on the second, Daniel got the last question wrong - if he’d been correct we would have gone to tie-breaker and I would have gone down for sure, as the “Who Am I’s” were killin’ me. I was fine for the fast Question-Answer rounds, but the second I actually had to concentrate, I lost it.

On the third night, I felt like I finally earned my stripes - and thanks to the sudden possession of the Fast Money Demon in the last 60 seconds (you can almost see my eyes turning bright green), blitzed the field and I bailed on coming back to play for the motorbikes with the parting words “Sayonara Baby, I’m takin’ the Home Entertainment System!” Gid. dy. Up.

Sorry, I really should be more humble about this experience.

Sorry, can’t think of anything to be humble about.

The day we filmed was a long day. By the end of the third show, powered on by Codral Cold & Flu tablets (had been sick for nearly 4 weeks before the show) I was knackered and starting to trip out with the bright lights and huge TV monitor beaming bright shades of orange from the far right of the screen.

And don’t even talk to me about the cheesy segue they made me do at the end of the second night…

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The night I was first broadcast, we threw a little champers and pizza pahtay at Chateau McG for some of the locals. It was a buzz seeing myself on teeve, and given I’m hypercritical of the way I look, I was relieved that, whilst looking heavier than I would have liked (the TV put on an extra 10 kilos that I really couldn’t afford to add), I thought I actually came across OK. The stylists did amazing jobs on my hair and I wasn’t my usual twitchy-eyed self (you didn’t know I had that crazy habit did you?).

Scout’s little “twin” up the road, Ozman, undoubtedly stole the show, though. During the first gift shop, the groovy porn-style music accompanying the prize was also accompanied by a little 18 month-old porn-star groove in front of the TV, complete with wiggling hips. Scout was appalled. It really should have been her night.

Really, who the hell let them in anyway???

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The Many Faces of Scout

15 July 2007, 10:57

Scout has been increasing her vocabulary very slowly. Whilst her little “twin” up the road (born on same day in same hospital about an hour apart) swans through mother’s group articulating everything he sees; “Bubbles!” “Car - broom broom!”, “Pretty!” “Kin!” (yes, he can even say my name), Scout has been too busy with her feats of physical prowess such as climbing up the playground slides to be bothered with words. Although she understands just about anything we say, her vocab is limited to:

• Dadda (dad)
• Mummum (mum)
• Ets (yes)
• Deedee (teddy)
• Ba (bath)
• Eets dat? (who/what’s that?)
• Dis (this)
• Dat (that)
• Blora (Dora)

She does sing in reasonable tune though - “Twinkle Twinkle Little Star”, “Farmer in the Dell”, “Bear is now asleep” and the “Backpack Song” (from Dora the Explorer) are all part of her repertoire. “Twinkle Twinkle” goes something like this:

“Dadda, dadda, dadda da
Dadda, dadda, dadda da
Dadda, dadda, dadda da
Dadda, dadda, dadda da”

Did someone say “Dadda’s girl”?

In other news, Scout has finally called a truce with her friend Mali and has exchanged pouts, bites and bitch slaps for sweet tender kisses…

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