Return of the Goddess
31 May 2004, 06:38
I began crying. The emotions came thick and fast. Memories swirled around and grew like tumours. I cursed you and swore silently at my own weakness as the tears fell wantonly. Oh me! oh life! I cried. My stoic countenance was but a puddle of cat piss on the floor. I was reduced to a snivelling, fermented mess.
That’s right, Sarah McLachlan was back in town.
The last time I saw Sarah was back in ‘Nam, at the first Lilith Fair in Vancouver in ‘96. It was an acoustic set and I seem to remember that Sarah was competing with David Duchovny and a supposed backstage tryst with Lisa Loeb for my attention (we sat high up in the stands).
It was pouring with rain. People were moshing. To Sarah McLachlan. I looked around and said to myself, “Fuck I love a country that moshes to Sarah McLachlan.”
There was no moshing at the Regent on Friday night. It was very civilised. I started crying during the first song and basically didn’t stop. She. was. flawless. A fucking goddess who didn’t miss a single note.
That’s not to say she made all the right choices.
On Thursday she had had an interview with Nathan Buckley who told her to wear a Collingwood scarf during her first concert ‘cos “they’ll love you!” She was booed. On Friday night she came out during the encore with a Demons scarf on, told the story about the Collingwood Scarf Affair and conceded that she decided to wear a scarf of “a team less hated”. She was booed.
I looked around and said to myself, “Fuck I love a country that has the temerity to boo Sarah McLachlan over the footie”...
Permanent Link | My new husband...
30 May 2004, 02:50
...has finally written about The Day over at Opinios. If you don’t care for my warblings, his recount may just be your thing.
The Chicken or the Egg
29 May 2004, 03:32
We are the masters of indecision.
When we arrived in Melbourne last Saturday, we thought we’d rent a little establishment in Carlton North. Considering Tokyo rents we put the bar up to $360 p.w. Then we did the math. We talked. Then balked. Decided we couldn’t bear to pay someone’s else’s ridiculous mortgage, so started looking at places to buy to mortgage ourselves to the cranium for the next 30 years instead. So our rental bar came down by half so we could actually save while educating ourselves about the market.
One problem. No jobbie. No jobbie meant it would be hard to convince anyone to rent us even a shitty dry-rotten bungalow in Thomastown. Here we were, perfect tenants, with the perfect opportunity to check out places, but we are the scourge of the rental and loan industry with no regular income and no recent Australian credit history.
But while living out of a suitcase (thank god for John and Bronwyn who have generously shared with us their house in Ivanhoe with the menagerie of 4 dogs, 3 cats, 2 budgies and a lively teenager) it’s hard to get that jobbie to achieve the all-important regular income.
Jobbie. Rental. Mortgage. Jobbie. Rental. Mortgage. Vodka. Pass me the vodka.
Actually, make that two problems (and while you’re at it, another vodka) – Melbourne has gone loco with rent and sale prices. Dammit, we want that dream lifestyle! We’ve earned that dream lifestyle! We lived in a shoebox for two and a half damn years, and we were looking at rentals the same size for roughly the same price as in Tokyo! We were deflated. I cursed this city whilst fondly caressing it’s liveability and a fabulous cappuccino.
Luckily, one of my old real estate agents came to the rescue, and gave us this “quaint” apartment in Northcote practically on the spot for $190 p.w. Fingers crossed the landlady likes our earnest faces.
Just proof it’s not what you know…
Permanent Link | Comments [8]Temp to Perm - part IV
22 May 2004, 21:14
The Aftermath
After the reception, a group of buddies hit the Sarayi Pool, bottle of Chardonnay smuggled from the Sebel in hand. We all drank the wine straight from the bottle. Like true Aussies. Classy. Sophisticated. I was home.
On return to our room (upgraded to a Verandah Spa room, thanks very much), Matt had organised a deluge of multicoloured rose petals to cover the bed. The rest of the evening needs no detail.
The first few days of our honeymoon were taken up with family and friend obligations. We figured that everyone had travelled so far to attend our wedding, we owed it to them to spend a bit of time. But my bar is fairly low (Matt’s is much higher), it was our freakin’ honeymoon and everyone knows that sex and family members do not mix. It’s just wrong.
Luckily we, being unemployed bums, had the luxury of extending the honeymoon an extra two days after everyone flew home, which meant more of the hard-life – more snorkelling on the outer Great Barrier Reef…
Oh, the horror!
more falling asleep in the sun, roasting like oven-dried tomatoes, more sunset walks along the beach…
and enjoying the crazy unity we’ve found ourselves in. Reality? What the hell is that?
Honeymoon photos (no, not those ones) here!
Permanent Link | Comments [4]Temp to Perm - part III
21 May 2004, 20:48
New Love (no, not ours)
The reception was a Gourmet Aussie BBQ at the Sebel’s Poolside Cafe. Prawns, chicken, steaks, kebabs and fish were barbequed up, with stacks of salad, roast potatoes and pastas. The wine flowed, particularly for Matt’s Uncle John who decided Bron would be perfect for our friend Jeremy who was, ahem, seasoning his steak elsewhere.
Only a couple of things went slightly awry at the reception, most notably the batteries of our MDs running out of juice. It wouldn’t have been so bad, except I’d spent ages putting together a dance compilation, that ran out three quarters through. Desperate, we raided the Sebel’s CD selection which was… fairly tragic. It was either Tchaikovsky, Garth Brooks, or “Hits of the 90’s”. If you can’t figure which one we chose, then you really are reading the wrong blog.
With Mark and Connor
The show-stealer was undoubtedly my nephew, Connor, who at 2 1/2 years old, already does a mean Eminem impression. He stripped down to his singlet and thoroughly rocked out to Belinda Carlisle (as you do), yelling at the audience like a real rock and roll star. Damnit nephew, did I not warn you that this was my day?
You can’t blame him, though. He had a little hottie to impress. Connor and Tessa (who will be getting married about 25 years from now) were enamoured with each other on first sighting. There was embracing, there was kissing, and at the end of the night, Connor was even feeding Tessa her bottle. Ah, young love.
First Kiss
The speeches were hilariously bad, especially Matt and my speeches which were little more than drunken thankyous. I know of plenty of brides who don’t eat or drink because they’re too busy entertaining, but I thought, “Fuck that. It’s my wedding so I’ll get as sloshed as I can.”
Jeremy took control of our video camera and interviewed all the guests, asking “If you could describe Matt and Kim in one word, what would it be?” The Top 12 responses:
12. “Sensible” [Jude obviously doesn’t know us very well]
11. “Humourous” [Diane]
10. “Sudafed” [Matt’s rather crook dad]
9. “Alcoholics” [Jane who knows us rather too well]
8. “Sexy” [Mark and Connor]
7. “Rambunctious” [Tom]
6. “YOUNG!” [I really love Auntie Claire]
5. “I’ve only got one word?” [Bron]
4. “Overrated” [Tom again, who really should be put back in his cage]
3. “Gorgeous/nauseous” [Penne swore it was the former]
2. “LOVE!” [Uncle John, everyone’s favourite guest]
1. “What was the question?” – [Sam]
And I’ll leave you with this haiku written by our good buddy, Tom, who gave a winning speech;
“On an Autumn beach
Joy shared with those who are close”
They leave united”
...to be continued…
Permanent Link | Comments [2]Temp to Perm - part II
18 May 2004, 23:49
The Mr and Mrs McG bit
The ceremony was across the road from the Sebel Reefhouse, where we had our reception and are now enjoying our honeymoon. We booked a room here for 5 nights, so I only had to walk down to the lobby and across the Esplanade to the ceremony. Perfect for the lazy bride.
Our attendant, Kay, was a funky middle-aged chick with blonde, spiky hair who got both of our names right. First time. In fact, everyone remembered our names all night, including Matt’s Uncle John who called my by his ex’s name 3 times when I first met him all those years ago.
The ceremony was perfect. The waves were gently crashing against the beach, the late afternoon sky was peppered with strated clouds, Matt looked truly gorgeous (Tom later referring to him in his speech as “davishing”) and Nana Joyce and Bronwyn nailed their readings (“Once in a lifetime” from some old dude and “My Beloved One” by Ben Harper). I started crying as Bron read the Ben Harper lyrics, which started her off, and as she went back to the group, my mum whispered something to her about her leaky make-up, and she pointed to me, protesting loudly, [“She started it!”] Onya Bron. She’s solid.
We were happy to be married in Australia, but I had wanted some kind of Japanese touch. As serependity wielded her magic wand, just as the ceremony was finishing, 3 Japanese tourists passed by on the beach, wielding their cameras.
The question on everyone’s lips (including my own, though I can barely remember as the champers was still on them) was… “Was The Bride (that would be me) nervous???” Erm, No. Not at all. I had woken with a start that morning at 4.30 am thinking, “Holy Shit Batman, what the Hell have I done?”, paced around the room for awhile, then passed out til late morning, but I wasn’t shitting my pants. Just excited. Sorry. No brown stains for the white wedding dress this time. Everything was ticketyboo.
We were having photos done on the beach, so we took off in our white rental car, tooted the guests still tucking into the champagne and canapes on the lawn, and drove off into the sunset…
...to be continued…
Permanent Link | Comments [13]The Last Supper
16 May 2004, 21:56
How did I spend my last day as a single woman? Very. Very lazily.
Had a quick lunch with my folks in Trinity Beach before heading to Sara’yi, where Bron, my gorgeous girlfriend, was staying (and where I’d be staying that night).
Bron, Penne and I had full-body massages (the non-erotic kind) in Bron’s room, then supped champagne on the porch before heading to Neptunes for The Last Supper with a bunch of friends who’d come up for The Marriage.
The Boys headed off on the Piss in Cairns while Bron, Diane and I had a merry champagne before strolling along the Beach, then passing out around 11 pm.
Wow. What a rager.
A few more pre-wedding shenanigans photos
Mary's Big Day
14 May 2004, 19:00
At least there’s someone out there more stressed than me today, with all Denmark and Australia watching to make sure she doesn’t fall out of her frock. Damit, woman, steal my thunder!
Truth be told, I’m not at all stressed about tomorrow. It’s all the Queensland humidity. Making my brain slow. When people say, “So, are you excited?” my response is usually, “Ohhhh, yeaaaaaaah?”
Everything is organised, dress is altered, tan accomplished, most of the guests have arrived, the only thing missing is the babies (uh, did I say that?). I’m a bit nervous, but no more than any other bride-to-be. It’s helped that I’ve kept busy with infinitely more pleasurable stuff like snorkelling on the reef and swimming in Mossman Gorge.
Last night we had a pre-wedding-bbq at Chris and Claire’s place. My family arrived (over a year since I’ve seen them) with monster-toddler in tow. He wreaked a fair bit of havoc before breaking the plastic off Chris’s car headlights. They left soon after.
If I were them I would have run for the hills, too. It must have been so overwhelming for them to be surrounded by 25 (strange) strangers. I dearly love Matt’s family but they are full-on, particularly when on the piss. Auntie Claire, in a wine-induced frenzy, cornered me and said, “Do you know what you’re doing? Marriage is the hardest thing you’ll ever do.”
[I dunno, I reckon those guests who’ve just popped out a baby (and massive ones too – up to 10 frikkin’ pounds, god help them) would disagree.]
Two minutes later, after a top-up, Claire had changed her tune, musing, “Marriage is a wonderful thing”...
Permanent Link | Comments [7]Hi. My name's Kinki. I am not at all clucky...
7 May 2004, 19:51
I quite like babies. I just don’t feel the need to get me one of my own yet.
This holiday we’ve met Tessa, Nick and Coco’s manipulative but oh so frikkin’ cute little ratbag and Blake, Matt’s one month old nephew, who is still too young to be much of anything yet, except a tiny cringing, pooing, sleeping machine. We’ve yet to meet Matt and Penne’s boy William. Tomorrow. More babies. Babies. Babies. Babies.
Went to the docs yesterday for an entirely unrelated matter, and got the “talk” about having crossed the peak-baby-making finish line, now heading toward the fertility graveyard. Babies. Babies. Babies. Enough already.
The doc wanted me to have tests to check the baby-making levels, so like a good little patient, I trotted across to pathology, where they turned me into a pin cushion. Both arms, 3 tries in each. On the 4th try the pathologist called in the senior blood-taker, who called in the head blood-taker on the 5th try. At this point, all three of them giggled innocently and a little embarassed, “You’re not getting married on the weekend are you?”
So now I look like a junkie, and for tests I didn’t even want to take in the bloody first place!
I have but one message for Tessa, Blake and William – it’s MY wedding next weekend, so don’t even think about competing with me for attention. Dammit. I know you’re all dead cute, but it’s about me, me, ME. Oh. And Matt. Yes. Him too.
Permanent Link | Comments [7]Eeny meeny miney mo
3 May 2004, 22:14
Top 5 Things I love about being back in Australia
1. Thunderstorms;
2. Wolfing down a nice chunky beef burger (sans BSE) with a Coopers Sparkling Ale;
3. Seeing the horizon;
4. Being with the easy company of family (well…. Matt’s family so far)
5. Unemployment. We haven’t worked for over a month now, and we’re still not sick of it.
Top 5 Things I already miss about Japan
1. Our friends (life would be just peachy if youse guys came and visited us already);
2. Being able to drink beer on the beach/train/street/......;
3. Leaving your front door/briefcase/whatever open and knowing no-one will pinch anything;
4. Cycling down to the local supermarket without having to armour yourself with helmet, harness and full metal jacket;
5. Independence. The subway coming every 5 minutes means we didn’t have to rely on rellies to give us a lift somewhere. ADSL was damn sweet too. Don’t know about this dial-up business.
It seems that life in Far North Queensland agrees with me. No doubt I’d be bored if I lived here permanently, but the fresh air, decent rain storms, beaches, and laidback, easygoing locals are making life very very easy.
“Hey you! You think I’m cute???”
Even Tessa Mia, Nick and Coco’s irrepressible baby, has taken a shine to me. Considering I have the uncanny ability to make any baby, toddler or teenager burst into tears and howl for their mama, this is pretty good.
Tokyo brought out the worst in me. Don’t get me wrong, I love Tokyo, it’s a rockin’ place, but I didn’t really like me in it. Little things stressed me out, that wash over me now in a wave of “She’ll be right, mate”s. The funk of life in a big, polluted city which teflon-coated me for 2 and a half years, is slowly bubbling off.
Far North Queensland Photo Gallery
Permanent Link | Comments [5]
