Honestly
3 September 2008, 19:58
Mums stay home or ‘baby’s brain suffers
...if you’re going to continue to make mothers feel crap and inadequate because they are not doing everything possible for their child in spite of the majority doing their absolute best, then for fuck’s sake, shut the hell up and actually do something about it rather than wanking on about how we are disadvantaging our children right out of the blocks. This whole “mums should have 2 years of maternity leave” rhetoric feels like a carrot being dangled, doomed to rot in the mire of the vege crisper, whilst we are left looking for ways to assuage our guilt.
Look, I understand the theory (no doubt a competing theory will arise refuting it) and in an ideal sublime culture where no-one has to pay a mortgage and has a carer on hand should this full-time parent need a rest from the constant demands of a baby/toddler, then theorise til hell has a home in heaven.
I couldn’t have managed one-on-one care for 2 years with Scout – I would have gone totally mental. Would that have been good for her cognitive development? I don’t think I would have taken up the offer of 2 years of maternity leave, but then having a child was my choice so whilst I appreciate my child care rebate, thank you very much, I also don’t expect the tax-payer to pay for 2 years of
me being at home.
And what of the dads? Is their role redundant now? I know of couples (not many) where the dad stays home with bubs and mum goes out to hunt and gather – I bloody well salute them and doubt their kids are suffering cognitively.
End. Rant.
Permanent Link | - Interesting discussion kinkers!! I like that the article talks about paid maternity leave for two years – wow, at least then you’d have the option to stay home. Personally I doubt companies or the government will ever offer two years of PAID maternity leave, and like you say most families need two incomes to survive or at least enjoy life. And also like you say, not all mums want to stay home for two whole years. I stayed home for six months and I’ve been pretty much part time since and I think that is the ideal for me. I get some ‘me’ time which is important for everyone involved. Unhappy mother = unhappy family. And yeah it sucks how they don’t mention dads. As you know we are one of the few couples where the dad stays home and Jake is doing great!!! I’m really excited that D and J will have an extra special bond now – I wish more dads could have the experience!
— kat Sep 3, 12:15 PM # - I’m definitely with you on the guilt trip thing Kinki – I don’t have kids myself but I know many of my friends are made to feel guilty at putting kids into child care. But the reality is that not everyone is cut out to spend all day caring for kids. Me least of all people. The Mem’s of this world who wish to do that all day can do it, but don’t have a right to slam the rest of the parents who aren’t cut out for 24/7 caregiving. If your family functions better with you working and your daughter in child care then that’s none of Mem’s business!!
— vanessa Sep 5, 09:59 PM #
