Family Vent
28 October 2007, 08:39
Right, I’m gonna have a wee vent here about my family – well, my brother in particular.
Background:
We’ve always been friends (except when we were early teens and my mum would take us out of house by scruff and inform us that we were to kill each other outside so we wouldn’t get blood on the carpet). Not close in the calling-each-other-every-month kinda close, but when we are together (he lives in Brisbane) we get along great. He’s very generous when he’s around but is shit at social “niceties”. When Scout was born, we got a phone call, but no card or anything. I don’t care for myself, but I’m sentimental about that kind of thing and feel sad that Scout will have a plethora of cards, some from people we’ve never met, and not one from her own uncle.
When his second child was born, we sent a card and gift (‘cos I’m like that) and never had as much as a thank you. He’s quite a serious chap, a bit insular and very nuclear-family obse…. focussed but ffs, it shits me to tears. I would love for Scout to be close to her cousins (as they are terrific kids) but any contact we have with them is contact that I initiate, and I’m getting a bit bored of it.
Even McG’s brother, who he was never close to in childhood, sends Scout gifts out of the blue, just because he can and wants to.
Now:
So, I’m on the phone to my folks yesterday – I have a couple of niggling issues with them but we basically have a congenial relationship, albeit via irregular phone chats as they too, live in Queensland.
I arranged for one of my Roses Only deliveries to go to them this month, for their anniversary (which alas, didn’t come on their anniversary via Roses-Only stuff-up, but really, that’s another story) and they called me to say thank you and gush about how beautiful the roses were and what a nice gesture it was.
So we’re having a bit of a chin-wag, I ask them what they are doing for Christmas and they say “I don’t know, but we’re going down to see Brother at the end of next month to help them with the new baby.”
“What baby?” asks I.
Follows a deathly silence – you can hear the crackle of the phone line, and mum says,
“Oh, I’m so sorry, I thought Brother would have told you by now.”
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Why yes, most normal brothers would tell their sisters that they were expecting a third child, but HELL NO, not mine! He couldn’t even be bothered throwing it in as an aside, even though we’ve spoken on the phone at least twice in the last 5 months. Dude, this shit’s important.
And my folks, who know what he’s like, didn’t bother to ask him whether he’d told me.
Oh I’m shat. Seriously.
Permanent Link | - To borrow from Elwood (blues brothers) may i offer a little constructive criticism Kim. You’re an extrememly talented and insightful writer with quick wit, but you’ve gotta be careful with family stuff, even if it is justified, posting it on public blog just adds fuel to fire and will only make him more distant long term. Find out specificlly if he does have some deep personal issue with you that you need to nut out with him, or if he’s just genuinly one of those blokey lads that cn’t be bothered let him just deal with it, coz it’ll fall on top of him eventually anyway without you forcing it! I understand you’ve been extremely flat out with baby laast couple of years, and it’s a very family focussed time, but now that little Scout has grown up a bit and the most time consuming period is over (so they say!) I reckon it’s time to take the self-focus off your writing and get back to your old form again when you had your shit going down! Absolutely love your work Kim when it’s channeled in the right direction. Hope I’m not being too annoying. Cheers cuz in law. Nick
— Nick Nov 4, 08:59 PM # - Well, at the risk of writing more vents about family (as you happen to be in mine) I am quite entitled, thank you very much, to write whatever I feel like writing whenever I feel like it.
It’s unlikely my brother or folks would ever read any of this (I don’t even think they know it exists) and no-one knows who they are. Mate, people’s lives change and their blogs reflect them and whatever stage they are at. I don’t mind a bit of constructive criticism, and you are usually quite insightful, young Nick (if that is, in fact, your real name) but here I think you need to back off a bit. If you are concerned about the “self-focus” then cut your losses and stop reading. In fact, scoot on over to wrigglepot.com. Scout is a much more obliging writer.
I don’t write this blog for anyone else – just myself.
— Kinki Nov 5, 06:25 AM # - Kink, just remember some people have no breeding or culture. That doesn’t mean one has to be rich either, it has nothing to do with wealth or finances. Some of the wealthiest people are the most idiotic, (I see this everyday in Albert Park) conversely, some of the poorest people on the planet are the most polite. It’s just that some people lack subtlety. Pretend to be interested even just for a few minutes, when you’re not. You’ll feel good about it and then you know you can avoid them later. Sometimes, I must admit, it is hard to say no when you deal with knuckle-scraping apes. But life is not a bowl of cherries. Make up with your maker first; everything flows from that, embody in your life those innate sacred principles. Just as I would say to Buddhists in Asia, try to follow the precepts of Buddhism. It’s hard too. Read Pascal’s Pensees, St Augustine’s Confessions or even Roman Marcus Aurelius’ Meditations. Distance yourself from these apes; but you have to be-in-the-world at the same time. Socially however you don’t have to mix with them over time.
— david Nov 13, 09:59 PM #
