Inaugural Mothers Day
14 May 2006, 09:35
Ah, ‘tis great to be a mum. Woke up this morning after a lovely little lie-in, to a nice cup of tea, some v. thoughtful pressies and a beautiful daughter and husband. Sigh.
Will just chill out today, and have brunch with another mum and dad in Richmond (never mind Richmond’s appalling form in the footy this weekend…).
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I leave you with a few maternal ponderings:
1. My mother taught me TO APPRECIATE A JOB WELL DONE.
“If you’re going to kill each other, do it outside. I just finished cleaning.”
2. My mother taught me RELIGION.
“You better pray that will come out of the carpet.”
3. My mother taught me about TIME TRAVEL.
“If you don’t straighten up, I’m going to knock you into the middle of next week!”
4. My mother taught me LOGIC.
” Because I said so, that’s why.”
5. My mother taught me MORE LOGIC.
“If you fall out of that swing and break your neck, you’re not going to the store with me.”
6. My mother taught me FORESIGHT.
“Make sure you wear clean underwear, in case you’re in an accident.”
7. My mother taught me IRONY.
“Keep crying, and I’ll give you something to cry about.”
8. My mother taught me about the science of OSMOSIS.
“Shut your mouth and eat your supper.”
9. My mother taught me about CONTORTIONISM.
“Will you look at that dirt on the back of your neck!”
10. My mother taught me about STAMINA.
“You’ll sit there until all those peas are gone.”
11. My mother taught me about WEATHER.
“This room of yours looks as if a tornado went through it.”
12. My mother taught me about HYPOCRISY.
“If I told you once, I’ve told you a million times. Don’t exaggerate!”
13. My mother taught me the CIRCLE OF LIFE.
“I brought you into this world, and I can take you out.”
14. My mother taught me about BEHAVIOUR MODIFICATION.
“Stop acting like your father!”
15. My mother taught me about ENVY.
“There are millions of less fortunate children in this world who don’t have wonderful parents like you do.”
16. My mother taught me about ANTICIPATION.
“Just wait until we get home.”
17. My mother taught me about RECEIVING.
“You are going to get it when you get home!”
18. My mother taught me GENETICS.
“You’re just like your father.”
19. My mother taught me about my ROOTS.
“Shut that door behind you. Do you think you were born in a barn?”
20. My mother taught me about JUSTICE.
“One day you’ll have kids, and I hope they turn out just like you!
Permanent Link | - Hi Kinki,
This is GREAT! You made my day – which was promising to be another sullen and no-use-for-nothing stint at the office. My father apparently said to me (6 months old) “When you grow up, I will come and yell for hours on end at your bedside while you´re sleeping”; ps: He did not!
— Ferit May 15, 07:18 PM # - Hi, I just wanted to say that I thought this was a fantastic post! I’m going to pass this on to every mom I know. Thanks for the laugh!
— panasianbiz May 18, 07:27 PM #
