Pretty Good Year

Ah. The Year of the Sheep. It's meant to symbolize peace, abundance and good luck. So has the Year of the Sheep lived up to its name?

Peace. OK. The rest of the world seems to be going to Hell but personally, life has been very harmonious indeed. It is difficult though, to reconcile your place in the contentment spectrum when hundreds of thousands of innocent lives are being sacrificed in the name of "peace". This year, whenever the word "World Peace" popped up on the news, I came to associate it with "Megalomanic pursuit of World power". I hope to crap next year the world sorts its shit out. OK. So I'm an Optimist.

Abundance. Hell Yes. Thank you everyone who stopped by my website, particularly my regular readers. I've received so much encouragement from people I've never met. As a blogger, you open yourself up to a certain amount of criticism and fuck it thickens your skin like nothing else. It makes you realise when you get sad freaks of nature flaming your blog that you actually have a fulfilling, expressive and honest life.

I've been in the advantageous position to be able to live in this contradictory and amazing country and describe both the beautiful and blemished Japan. And I've been lucky to get to know some fellow bloggers in person - Martine, Jenn and Kat, 3 excellent and unusual chicks.

Good Luck. I've had it in spades. Even the weather has behaved its pretty little self this year.

I love (most of) my students and working for a variety of clients. Teaching is so much better than Human Resources it makes me sick (in a good way). For someone seriously suffocating in the corporate rut, I can't recommend it enough.

I had the good fortune to have The Mister propose to me (albeit drunkenly) in Kyoto on New Years Day. The unmitigated highlight of 2003. In fact, I have the good fortune to have scored the finest single-malt in the guy world. Argue with me if you will. I will not be swayed on this.

New Years Resolutions. Shudder. For the past 10 years my NYR has invariably been to "drink less" or "drink only on the weekends" and every year I fail miserably. So this year, my NYR is to "accept that I'm a gigantic lush." What's a few hundred missing brain cells when you got yourself a fair chunk of happiness and good fortune?

And what would an end of the year blog be without at least one Top 10? Being a movie buff, I decided on a Top 10 films for 2003. Before the cries of "Omigod, that movie is sooooo 2002" bear in mind that us cinephiles in the Far North East have to wait up to 6 months for new releases:

1. Lord of the Rings - The Two Towers (2002)
2. Juon - The Grudge 2
3. 8 Mile (2002)
4. Matrix Reloaded
5. The Eye (aka Jian Gui) (2002)
6. Bowling for Columbine (2002)
7. Rabbit Proof Fence (2002)
8. My Big Fat Greek Wedding
9. Pirates of the Caribbean
10. X2

Oh, and I'd like to be able to write a blog entry without the word "fuck" in it. Optimism is a curse.

The foot of Mount Fuji

Sunset

Sunrise

Silly Buggers

OK. So I took an obscene amount of photos this weekend. Dammit, I have a new camera. Give me a break. And I may have gushed "Sugoi!!!", "Cho Kakoii!!!", "Immaculate!!!" or "She's f$%@#in' awesome, mate!" enough times to warrant a fair crack over the noggin by Miss Frangipani. But hell, I talk too much, so let the photos speak for themselves...

Just getting out of Tokyo for a couple of days was superb. Filling my lagging lungs with fresh, clean air. Blue skies. Little old ladies cracking their faces into rapturous smiles the moment you spurt out "Konnichiwa!". Indulging my passion for Kimono at the f$%#@in' awesome Itchiku Kubota Museum. Hanging out with a kindred Aussie spirit.

Yeah. It was pretty good.

Missed it by that much

Snowscape in aluminium and blue

Late Boxing Day and the snows come. Ah, the dream of having a white Christmas eludes us still!

Woke up to the sound of dripping snow from the aluminium roofs. The seat of my mama-chari christened with white powder. Rude blue skies framing the white-dusted roads and roofs. Cynicism melting along with the snow. Everything clean and cold and fresh.

[big sigh]

A (majime) moment of reflection

So. Christmas. Some foreigners laud the fact that Christmas isn't "celebrated" here because it means having a Christmas that is non-stressful without the constant familial and traditional pressures of a western Christmas. I both agree and disagree.

Because Japan is essentially a non-Christian country, Christmas Day is a money-making enterprise, there's no other way of looking at it. It's a day where Japanese women everywhere get taken out to fancy restaurants by their boyfriends and exchange expensive gifts. Unless a Japanese person is Christian (around 1%) knowledge of "Jesus" is probably limited to what a westerner's knowledge of "Buddha" might be.

So last night when we were walking through Ikebukuro, seeing all the hawkers and street-advertisers dressed as Santa, an odd, artificial taste lingered in my mouth. I'm not saying that Christmas hasn't been reduced to a commercial mecca in Australia or wherever, cos it most certainly has, but it seems all the more horribly exploitative here - a country that has little (if any) education about the origins of "Christmas" or the traditions of celebrating a christian holiday. It may be hypocritical of me to succumb to gift-giving on Christmas Day when I criticise it, but my point is that in Japan there is no christian ideology to support the excessive Christmas advertising and marketing campaigns.

I'm no diehard Christian. My mum's a Catholic, my dad's an Anglican. I consider myself agnostic if anything, but Christmas (irrespective of the "gift-giving" stress) was a crucial part of my growing up, as it is for every person from a predominantly christian country.

It's strange having Christmas in Japan. It can never be the same as celebrating it in Australia (and neither should it), particularly cos we aren't sweating in 30 degree heat and heading for the beach with lilos and Christmas picnic in tow. So Matt and I celebrated it in our own way. It was pointless trying to emulate past Christmases anyway, as the harder you try, the more disappointed you get when the two don't match.

Matt made a roast dinner on Christmas Eve (bang up job of it he did, too), we drank a bottle of 1992 Aussie Frontignac and some port, listened to jazz and played Scrabble. On Christmas Day we opened presents, ate a huge fried breakfast, and hung out at home munching on the shortbreads Matt's parents sent us. We had dinner at El Torito, a Mexican Restaurant in Ikebukuro and walked home (note: beautiful evening for a stroll).

And it was top-shelf. Low key and as non-stressful as we could possibly make it, in spite of my coughing up a lung. Our family and friends weren't around us and that part of the day felt lonely, but there were no family agendas to deal with. No arguments about whose family we would celebrate Christmas with this year. No having to keep everyone happy.

So whilst the whole Japan Inc. Capitalist Rollercoaster got me down a bit, this year's Christmas was far from stressful. And at the end of the day, Matt and I had each other and that's what really mattered.

You can go vomit now.

Ikebukuro Xmas - Matt chats to rellies in sunny Cairns; Sonic Hedgehog Christmas

Cheeky

Sigh. Those cheeky little hamsters have been at our hosts machine again. Not. Good. Enough. Apologies to anyone who got this page. I hate to admit it, but the hacked page is way cute. If it weren't so frikkin' annoying it would be funny.

One small step for Kinki

Here are the first pics from the new camera (is it possible to fall in love with a black metal box?) without the magic touch that is PhotoShop. Don't worry, I will get more creative.

Christmas Quickie

Thank you [Santa] for my new Nikkon 5700 camera. And cheers to everybody who gave [Santa] input about which camera to get. It was a hard decision, so I'm glad a jolly bearded man got to make it.

Can't wait to show it off to Frangipani this weekend in Fujiyoshida! I must say Frange has been a bit of an inspiration with her photography. I've always been a shutter-bug but her photos (taken with ye reliable Canon G3) kick serious arse. So Frange, honey. Look out! I'm comin' at ya!

Merry Christmas everybody!

Nemo Christmas Tree in Sunshine City, Ikebukuro

Dear Santa...

Oh. god. Santa. I know it's only 6 a.m., but I cannot sleep and must share my torment with you. I'm pretty sure The Scourge has chosen my throat and lungs for its annual pestilence convention. Its been 5 days and I feel baaaaaaad. Christmas Eve. Bah.

Love Kinki

Hijacked!

Someone out there has so much time on their hands that they rerouted the front page of 35 Degrees and created a special little page all of their own.

It appears that the problem is on my host server's machine as Matt's other site, which is also on the same machine, was hacked as well. I unwittingly got rid of the rogue front page by republishing my whole site in Blogger. A supposedly "unaffiliated site" called Remote Assessment sent me an e-mail of the following kind;

"Btw, your site may or may not have been hacked because we noticed your URL was posted on a hacker's forum that we just happen to monitor.".

I guess it was pure coincidence that they sent the mail, oh, about half an hour after the attack?

And good onya for hacking an insignificant ol' blog with contrite hacker's english. Ooooh, you is soooo down in da hood muthafucka!

Hey, next time do us all a favour and hack Microsoft or something.

T-Shirts seen about Tokyo this week

"by bathing ape"
"we are snappy girls"
"Snoopy is the warm puppy everyone loves"
"whisper:representation of wonderful party" (Perhaps our Xmas party was not so wonderful after all)

Cancelled

For anyone considering Food Bank Japan's special Emperor's Birthday Packing and Delivery tomorrow, the event has been cancelled due to the driver's double-booking.

On this note, does anyone know of a charity in Tokyo that accepts donations of clothing for the homeless?

Orphans' Christmas Party

Let me start by stating the bleeding obvious. I hate being sick. It really fucks up your day.

Last night was our annual Orphans Christmas Party (strictly not an Orphans Christmas party as the majority were locals, but what the hell) and true to the jinx of Christmas Parties Past, I got sick. About 4 hours into the party. I was optimistic. I threw down a few baileys, cointreaus and gorged on the ridiculous amount of food, then hit the wall. I went home. I piked.

I did try to get up around midnight to go to karaoke. I made it halfway to the door and grunted. Ugh. Fuck ya. Can't do it. Throat was throbbing. Felt like I'd narrowly missed being hit by a very nasty semi-trailer. But I hate missing out on anything. It kills me.

The party, though, was top-shelf. 22 boisterously drunk mad-hatters crammed into Al's tiny 2DK and had a rip-snorting time. The neighbours must have loved us...

L-R Perennial party buffoon Nick with Fukunaga-san; Super dooper reindeer pooper; Sumie and Yukiko tuck into the trifle. More photos...

In my opinion...

...Tokyo's gone a little bonkers over the whole poinsettia thing. Here, in the foyer of my old client's building, there lurks a poinsettia croquembouche. Just add whipped cream and some custard and you could have tucked into it for lunch (white venom sap notwithstanding).

Does Japan, like, export these things?

(BTW, I didn't wiggle this pic in Photoshop (The Mister thought perhaps I'd had a temporary body-image crisis), the convex mirror really does make you look thin! (and give you manga eyes)...

Strangers on a Train

As I piled onto a Keikyu line train this morning, I was greeted by a heart-stopping squelching sound.

My first thought was "Omigod, s.o.m.e.o.n.e is spanking the macaque..." (which begs the question, "Do I really prepare myself for the very worst in this city?"). The reality wasn't quite so gross, however.

A young man (who, with no disrespect intended, was only about 80 cents to the dollar) was tongue-pashing, I'm not kidding, tongue-pashing the window of the adjacent door.

Of course, the crowds wedged me against the man who continued making out with the window with those furious slurping sounds.. I mean, it wasn't a bad looking window but, jeez, it was just a window...

Citrus Superstitions

The Japanese are a generally clean lot. Granted, there are the abominations that sneeze all over you in the train or pick their noses and eat the goods, but what with the fanatical onsen, sento and o-furo culture, it's hard to go a day without feeling like your skin has been rubbed raw by the infernal soap and boiling water fairy.

Every year on the Winter Solstice (December 22nd this year) our co-conspirators like to bathe with yuzu to ward off ill health for the coming year. "What the hot diggety dags is a yuzu???" cry the masses. A Yuzu is an indigenous Japanese citrus fruit. I'm convinced its just a lemon just as a mikan is simply a mandarin (don't try arguing with a Japanese person that the mikan is not native to Japan) but who the hell am I to argue about the benefits of a recuperative yuzu bath?

The question is - To Cut or Not To Cut the Yuzu. Opinion is divided. Some say you should cut it into pieces to permeate the bath water with divine citrus aromas, others look beseechingly to the heavens and be-cry "No! Never cut the yuzu! To cut the yuzu is to unleash the deadly yuzu juice! Your skin will break out into the great rash."

Not one to risk the Great Rash, I will be plopping the uncut yuzu into the bath on Monday and doing my bit to sustain the great citrus fruit industry of this country...

It's beginning to look a lot like Christmas

Top to bottom - Poinsettia's in Shinagawa Station; The Attack of the Blue Elves in Shinjuku; Evening rush hour in Ikebukuro

When I was growing up in Newcastle, I marinated in idyllic Christmases (must have been all the Fosters we left out for "Santa"). Truth be told, I've always been a sucker for Rolf Harris Christmas carols, chrissie pudding, paper bonbons and the dodgy paper crowns we were forced to wear on Christmas Eve.

But I don't remember poinsettias ever being part of the equation. I remember holly (plastic of course). I remember the aroma of a freshly cut pine tree (that we, um, didn't steal from private property on our family's annual "Pine Tree Run"). But poinsettias were always that flower that spurted white corrosive toxins (at least that's the urban myth that my 10 year old alter-ego believes) like a virulent ebola virus. Part of Christmas? Erm, no.

Apparently I'm alone. Everyone I've asked considers poinsettias a crucial part of Christmas. And the Japanese sure as hell do. It seems to be the definitive Christmas icon here. I mean, that's fine. It's a flower. It's red. How bad can it be? Just don't make me touch one.

Comments

As an aside, The Mister has overcome insurmountable hurdles to bring Comments back to the masses, so feel free to kindly blow sunshine up his arse. You know, give him that warm, glowy feeling...

But don't forget this website is my personal blog and not an open forum. Feel free to share your experiences and constructive criticism is always welcome, but if you even bother to make anonymous (i.e. cowardly) personal attacks, they will be deleted. Savvy?

Mirror, Mirror in the Window...

Yesterday on the Yurakucho line, I saw a heavily made-up girl (mascara, lipstick and eyeliner) with long, permed and bleached hair, a fluffy white beret, a patent leather trench coat with Audrey Hepburn motif, and knee high black stiletto boots with large silver buckles. "Not unusual", I hear you say. She was about 4 years old.

Her mother, similarly embellished, spent the ride admiring herself in the train's window. I don't give a fuck what country you're in, you just don't dress your daughter like a high-class hooker.

Goddamit

... for some reason the comments script is just not behaving itself. For something that should be completely straightforward it is just not running smoothly after moving to the new host. Sorry folks, hope to have commenting working again later on today.

Transfer

The Mister is currently transferring this site to another host, so for the time being, the comments will not be working. Despair not! If you have anything in desperate need of saying, store it, let it mature and you'll be able to uncork it very soon.

Mirror, Mirror on the Wall

I admit it. I've done the occasional quick touch-up of the ol' lippie at restaurants. It takes 15 seconds. I also cannot criticise anyone for being vain, as I am as looks-conscious as the next chicky-babe. But there are places for people like me. Bathrooms. Bathrooms are gifts from heaven for self-concerned princesses to primp and preen in relative privacy.

This woman took 30 minutes to sift through her hair, eyes, lips, face and eyebrows in a post-lunch grooming frenzy. And, call me astigmatic, she didn't look any better than when she first started. A fairly large number of women here are obsessed with their looks. Not simply vain (which can be a reasonably private vice) but obsessed. And apparently some of them can't wait to share it with the world...

and more...

On the subject of the use of "dogeza" emoticons ("m(_ _)m") one of my students (who calls them "face marks") joked that whilst you can use the dogeza face mark for minor mistakes, if you make a really big mistake, "then you must commit harikiri". He then went on to say, "but no face mark for that...."

My apologies

Ah, emoticons. Over-used and over-rated. "I am sad! :-(", "I am happy! :-)", "Wink wink nudge nudge say no more say no more! ;-)". The standards.

One emoticon that does make me giggle (I daresay its unique to Japan) is the one for "dogeza" (the traditional art of kneeling to the ground)...

..."I apologize very humbly - m(_ _)m"!

You will see the modified version of "dogeza" every day in newspapers and on TV when politicians or the executives of major companies bow deeply to press conferences to apologize for their numerous scandals. "I am sooooo sorry I extorted billions of yen from my competitors. I sincerely regret my actions. Please forgive me, kind and honorable Japan." Like a prostrate bow is gonna atone for being a complete arse-hat. I wonder if their official letters of apology end with a resounding "m(_ _)m"?

Must remember to use it next time I misappropriate the Mister's funds to buy me some shoes...

You know its gonna be a good day when...

...you discover you've been linked to Designers and Labels in the section which blows sunshine up the arses of LV designer bags ("Catering to the rich and beautiful, Louis Vuitton traditions of excellence carry on today into every product which bears the Louis Vuitton name." ah, BLOW ME!)

They can't have read my blog very thoroughly, though, cos under the 35 Degrees link is the damning;

"Soulless. Just like a Louis Vuitton handbag."

Nothing quite like an indiscriminate Google search, is there?

The Blue Commune

The prevalence of Blue Communes in Tokyo's city parks has always been evident to me. But during my momijigari-crazed wanderings, with the autumn leaves enlivening the ground and tree canopies, the reality of these communities in places like Yoyogi and Ueno Parks, became far more poignant, and ironic, than I ever imagined.

Its difficult to analyse the homelessness issue without sounding like a contrite, arrogant wanker (quite apart from the fact that I usually sound like a contrite, arrogant wanker). I know I've spewed forth my own chunks of verbal diarrhea about the homeless situation before, but the truth is I know less than fuck-all about what life is really like outside my cosy little middle-class cocoon because I've never experienced genuine hardship.

I have considered spending a night in the freezing cold in one of the homeless enclaves to get a taste of what its like but there's one motherfucking huge problem. Cowardice. I appreciate the roof over my head and the food on my table far too much to sacrifice it.

There is no way I can make up for the guilt I constantly feel about this inequity. No way. But I desperately want to help. Circumstances have bastardised these folk and forced them into blue tarps and the truth is it could happen to anyone at anytime.

Thankfully, volunteerism in Japan is gaining exponential force. Matt and I are joining Food Bank Japan on Emperor's Birthday (23rd December) to help make special deliveries to the 1500+ folk living in Ueno Park and along the Sumida River. Anyone in Tokyo who is interested in doing the same can contact Jason at volunteer@foodbankjapan.org. If you can't make it on Emperor's Birthday, they also do regular Saturday deliveries and are in sore need of drivers, translators and fund raisers. And of course, they accept donations.

It only takes up 3 and a half hours of your time (from about 1.30-5pm) - a shit less longer than having to sleep outside for a night.

This Grovelling Life

When life throws you the proverbial meaty bone, my theory is that you nibble daintily on it until someone notices that you are not some gluttonous swine, and, moved by your restraint, gives you a few more bones to scarf down in private later.

So now that some lovely soul has voted for ye ol' restrained 35 Degrees in the Asia Weblog Awards, rather than begging for more.... erm, bones, I am quietly nibbling away on the suggestion that there may be a link below that you could theoretically click on and perhaps favour this quiet and unassuming blog.

Now, do we understand each other?

The Carnival is Over

Gah. Nihongo Nouryoku Shiken is over and I can have my life back. Um, well, I actually never really lost it in the first place. The Mister had studied his pretty arse off while I studied a bit, but probably not as much as I could have.

Here's the thing. I am a lazy shit. My theory of learning Japanese by osmosis, by immersing myself in Japan was admirable (maybe) but somewhat, ahem, naive. Ergo I actually had to study. I decided to take Level 4 back in September 'cos I didn't think I'd have a shot at level 3, but if I'd been more, erm, conscientious and gone with The Mister's theory of study (that being sitting down and spending hours actually learning stuff) I probably could have sat Level 3. Hmmm. Maybe next year.

The kanji, vocabulary and even the grammar/comprehension sections were fine (didn't get to finish the grammar bit though) but if I fail it will be because of the listening part. One word comes to mind when I think about my performance in the listening. Arse crap. A big pile of funky brown arse crap. I'm not kidding. Somehow my brain doesn't work at the speed its meant to. It is but a colander.

So fingers crossed I passed the godforsaken thing. Good luck everyone who sat it and I hope you've all recovered from your hangovers this morning...

26 Painstaking Things

Well, after months of toil, tears and blood (largely the result of sparring with the Mister, over who gets to use the computer), my 26 Things submission has finally hit the web world. Now, what the hot diggety do I do about this rheumatism that's crawled into my focussing fingers?

Ah-ha! So you thought you could just click on these pics to enlarge them! No no no no, you must go to the 26 Things page and look at them ALL!!!

State of the Maple Update

"Wash left hand, then right hand, then rinse your mouth." Instructions for entering Ueno Koen's shrine spiritually cleansed (but only if you're wearing pink)

In State of the Maple news, Ueno Koen is a little thin on the ground with ye merry maple. Plenty of those yellow thingamies (what are those trees?) and a stack of cats and blue tarp communities, though.

The typhoon didn't help of course. Mother Nature has bent us all over and lovingly rogered us on that front. Whoever heard of a typhoon in December?