January 24, 2004
It's not that I hate NHK...
Any network with enough insight to give us Katori Shingo in a samurai toupee every Saturday night, has to be commended.
But we pay 3,000 yen every quarter for what is basically a crap service.
We rarely watch NHK, save for the bilingual NHK news, the Sumo (in season) and the aforementioned Katori Shingo perve-fest (OK, I may be the only one in the house who watches this).
And at 5 p.m every evening (during the critical moments of the sumo) the network gets an attack of reception tourettes and starts flickering between an average picture and a bright blue blank screen every few seconds.
But the "NHK Man" religiously rings our doorbell every 3 months insisting we pay the NHK fee, simply because we own a TV. In the early days, we pretended we didn't have a TV, but those little ferrets are on the case and sniff out your antenna, so that ploy swiftly died in the arse.
Payment of the fee is supposedly a law, albeit a non-enforced one. No-one's going to come and confiscate your TV, but the locals pay with little complaint, so anything other than total compliance is no doubt an affront to the fee collectors. Some months they knock on our door every night for days, at the ungodly hour of 10pm to retrieve the cash.
Last month, I mistakenly opened the door (duh) and had to pretend I had no idea what the NHK Man wanted (ah, the guilty pleasures of discovering one's inner bimbo). So three nights later, he calls Matt on his mobile phone (so not OK) to ask when he would be home so they could unload from him the fee.
When he came to our door, we told him we wouldn't pay the fee until someone fixed our reception as all the other channels were fine. The NHK Man said, OK, pay the fee, then someone will call you to fix the reception. Like stupid f#$%kers we gave him the money. Guess who hasn't received a call about the reception? It sounds piss-poor, but honestly, its easier to just give them the money. NHK trains its fee collectors in rabid pit-doggery. You have to see it to believe it.
So, firstly NHK is a total rip-off. Then there's the NHK news. A while ago, they had a female "bilingual" voice-over who was apparently speaking English, but we could never understand a word she was saying. They ditched her and now we get female English voice-overs for the male commentary and male voice-overs for the female.
And then there's the sport report. The Japanese love their local boys and girls who have made it big overseas, and power to them. But after the winning hits of Matsui and Ichiro, it would be nice to see the final score of the game, whether their team won etc. The NHK news (sorry, I'm picking on the NHK news cos its bilingual - I'm sure the other networks are just as bad) is violently tunnel-visioned.
It's not that I hate NHK. They're just a bit too much like the government - you pay 'em, but its a mystery as to what they do with your money.
Since he knows that he can get his quarterly cash at your place he will always come back religiously.
The truth is that a lot of people don't pay, and you really don't have to, it's not a law. It's "their" law or something.
If I open the door on one, I just tell him "terebi ga arimasen yo" with a big smile, and he goes away. I've never paid a yen to them and I don't watch NHK much at all so there's no reason why I'd pay them.
Next time you should tell him you threw away your TV. And turn off the TV before answering the door. :)
It does sound like a good approach, I just don't want to have him calling me again. I was shopping at the local dept store at 8.30 at night when he rang - that is harrassment that, when put on the spot, I don't want to have to deal with.
That's how he got the money out of us last time.
Patrick - we used the "we don't have a TV" but they spy the antennas and use that as "evidence".
I'm usually good at telling people to piss off nicely when they come to my door, but it gets tiring having to keep acting dumb every night for days when they keep coming back. and coming back. and coming back. and ringing Matt on the phone (plenty could be said about privacy laws there).
Honestly, they're pit bulls and go just short of bullying tactics to get the money from you.
That really sucks.
I guess you could complain about the phone call. I wouldn't think they're allowed to go that far. That's real harrassment.
I spent 5 years in Okinawa. Whenever the NHK man came around I would speak in English, pretending I didn't know what he wanted. Being an Oriental from Hawaii he must have initaially thought I was Okinawan, happened a lot. But told him I was an Amerika-jin, that I didn't watch the Japanese channels because I didn't understand it. That I only watched AFN. He used to come back once a year to see, I guess, if somebody else had moved in. Besides I was quite a bit bigger than him.
Is it only me or do others agree that most Japanese don't know what happens in the world due to this "violent tunnel-vision" of NHK?
Congratulations on your award/nomination for best Japanese blog. Very nice.
Abe
> Is it only me or do others agree that most
> Japanese don't know what happens in the
> world due to this "violent tunnel-vision"
> of NHK?
This is true. But I must say I still prefer NHK news over the hype of Fox or CNN that I saw while I was in the states. There's something quaint about "construction on the chuo line" making news that is refreshing from all the fear instilled by the US media making us believe that there is a murderer around every corner and we should all live in fear.
Yes, true, its good not to get a thorough ear bashing of doom and gloom, but just because they don't report about it, doesn't necessarily mean it doesn't exist.
For example, if you read the Japan Times of a morning, there's stacks of what I would consider "news worthy" items. I think NHK tends to fixate on the urbane rather than perpetuate the notion that crime actually does exist in Japan, and not just in the Diet.
Just my opinion.
The "NHK yakuza" visited us recently. As relative newcomers to Japan, I had no clue what they wanted. There must be someone staking out the neighborhood because they came to our door three days after we moved into the apartment. Stupid me just thought it was the cable guy coming to to get a deposit. We have now been in Japan for four months, and have yet to rid ourselves of the evil menace! I feel relieved to find out I am not the only one in this predicament!
I had the NHK guy coming a few times. I never paid, because there is no law for paying the fee. NHK will not sue you to get the money, because if NHK looses the law suit, nobody has to pay. You can tell the NHK guy to wait, because you are calling the police. He will never show up again, because the police has to tell him, that he can not go around and harras people to pay some money to NHK. Thats yakuza typ harrasment.
Actually Bernard, there is a law (Article 32 of the Broadcasting law) but as I said, its non-enforced. You're quite right, they won't sue you for the money, but when they start calling you on the mobile and hassling you at home (yes, I've tried the "I don't speak Japanese" thing but they keep coming back and coming back - we must have a special kind of bull terrier in our neighbourhood), its easier to pay just to get them off your back. Sure its bullying and I'm not one for giving into bullies EVER but who are we gonna complain to about harassment - the police?
Bernard has a good point though. I'm pissed off that I paid him now, calling me that late at night and showing up on our door in the evening really is harrassment. Next time I'm just going to tell him we sold the TV. Fuckers.
7 years in Japan now, and I've never paid. They sometimes come by when my wife, who is Japanese, is home. She now tells them that her husband takes care of all the bills (not true), that he is never at home(not true), and refuses to pay for such rubbish(true). They have given up on us.
I just tell the collectors that Yes, I do have a TV, and No, I'm not going to pay. Yes, I've seen the little sheet with the Rules, and I'm still not going to pay. And I watch NHK shows all the time and intend to continue to do so. Yes, I understand Japanese just fine so you don't need to send someone out to explain it to me in English. Sue me or call the police if you have a problem with that.
They don't come back.
The direct approach is most effective and cuts through all the bullshit.
The good old days 15 years ago were the best: they would send out a little junior gangster if you refused to pay. Of course, they turned tail lickety split when you started to call the cops. The NHK collectors don't even work for NHK: they are independent companies carrying little NHK badges.